Insanity Squared

Just an update. Finished Oblivion aside from that stupid 30 gamerpoints that I couldn’t get because of a glitch. I’ll get it. I really miss that game now. I had invested so much time in it that now I feel a small void in my life. That’s pretty sad, I’m pathetic.

I splurged and bought myself some clothes tonight. All my other clothes were from my super skinny I’m-too-sick-to-eat days when I was wafer thin. Wearing them just made me feel uber fat. I was starting to become obsessed with losing weight. When I get that way I start going the opposite and eating up a storm. When I put my new clothes on I looked in the mirror and WOW! I look really good! I’m not fat at all! It was the clothes that didn’t fit that were making me look bad. I mean, I’m not thin but I’m not fat!

So now I need to play Pokemon Pearl or Cupcake will torture me endlessly about it. He knows I haven’t even really gotten that far yet either. *Swears not to use the AR too much*

Speaking of Cupcake, he went to the doctor’s about his cough. He told him to make sure he had moist air. I am still convinced its his asthma. My mom’s cough sounded just the same. AND she kept getting these bronchial infections. He needs preventative meds before he has a really bad attack. If that does happen, I know who I’ll blame. My mother was the same way with me back when I was a teen. Now look at me!

Working on Spam-a-Lot, working on a few vids, and noticing that someone is inadvertently making remarks that they think will bother me. Hope they know I don’t care anymore and if they were a certain way all they had to do was just tell me. I don’t judge people on their life styles, just as I would expect them not to judge me on mine.

Okay, got my glasses today. ugh. I remember now why I didn’t miss the last pair. They are so damn thick I look like some kind of reject loser from a 60’s movie. And I’m so used to wearing contact lenses these things give me a headache. Well, they are only for emergencies or first thing in the morning or right before bed. I would never be seen in public wearing these, not unless I wanted a few laughs and stares. “Mommy, that lady has telescopes on her face!”

Watched the movie The Wicker Man. What a waste of $3! That movie sucked so bad I wanted to shoot myself. I mean were the writers trying to send a message or something? Here’s the message I got: Never watch another film we wrote ever again. Thanks for the $3, sucker. AHHH! Horrible movie, made no sense and ended terribly.

That’s it aside from my concern for Cupcake. He had a fever today and had to leave class. Poor sweetie, he makes me worry about him all the time. I love him. ♥

It’s been a while since I made a post in my own journal aside from Spam-a-Lot. I’ve been enjoying my break. I got so involved in this game Oblivion. It’s amazing! So many things to do, so many gamerpoints. It’s a good distraction.

Tommy is now in therapy at the insistence of the school and I fully agreed it could only benefit him. The therapist is a guy and he’s very nice. He doesn’t take Tommy’s crap either which is good. He says Tommy’s outbursts of anger are because he worries too much. Wonder who he got that from? *innocent* So we have to work on him finding an outlet for his worry so he won’t feel so angry all the time.

He did tell the therapist (his name is Steve btw) that his biggest concern is me dying. I know I have mentioned a time or two but never in front of him. He cries whenever I try to talk to him about it so I try not to. Though maybe I should just so he can get it all out. Poor kid thinking his mother is going to die. The major threat of my death is long past since the new meds. My health is slowly getting better by each day. I may never be the old me but I won’t be in the hospital all the time anymore.
So with that all out of the way, he doesn’t go back for three more weeks while we work on trying to alleviate some of this worry he has. Monday is the key day.

And I found out I can go to college for free through the Crohn’s Colitis Foundation. I have it so severe that they’ll give me a scholarship for college studies. So, I’m going to go for IT. It’s there I might as well take advantage of it.

Well, that’s it except for my own worries. These are legitimate though. Cupcake has been coughing something horrible lately and I know its his asthma. I hope he goes to the doctor’s soon so maybe they could put him on some kind of medicinal regimen. It’s such a dry cough too. Doesn’t sound good. I worry because I love him so much.

Okay, that’s it for now, going to bed.