This week is not a good week. :( I had to have a colonoscopy done down at Penn and she found some ‘things’:
Thing #1, the Crohn’s Disease is a little worse than they thought. The inflammation in the intestine is only leaving about a 1/2 inch opening (about a dime size) for passage which explains all the pain I’ve been having. We may need to discuss having the resection early and just taking it out but I’m just not sure I’m ready for that yet. :(
Thing #2, there are many ulcerations at the site of the Crohn’s which may be what is causing me to become anemic repeatedly over time. Which means I may need to see my hematologist more often than I am for Iron IV treatments. I don’t mind that so much, the iron makes me feel great! It’s the constant needles wrecking my veins. I can’t take iron orally because the Crohn’s makes my nutrient absorption levels very low, so it just passes right through me.
Thing #3, I had one very large polyp some distance away from the Crohn’s in the large intestine that may have been cancerous and one smaller one at the actual site of the Crohn’s. I’m trying not to worry but people who have Crohn’s are very susceptible to colon cancer. They removed both and are biopsying them along with several more biopsies of the entire small and large intestine. She said, “In most cases polyps are very common and usually not cancerous. If it is cancerous, there is a large chance they may return. So, we need to keep a very close eye on this.”
I can’t imagine what I’ll do if I have cancer. I think I could handle it. It’s just like everything else in my life in the past 10 years. I will do whatever I had to to survive. Emotionally, I have no idea. I may have to start seeing a therapist to deal with it. I just hope that it is not cancerous. I’m only 32 and after surviving two very near brushes with death back in 2002 and 2006, I refuse to go out this way. I am so not done yet! My son needs me so badly right now. :(
I’m trying not to think about it but after the dust settled, it suddenly hit me. I’m scared for the first time in my life! I haven’t been scared of much in life when it comes to my health. I always just take it with a grain of salt. But I have to be around for a long time! Too many people depend on me. It makes me so angry too! I can’t control this and that annoys me to no end!
I’m sorry my emotions are coming out today. :( I’ll know more when the results come back from the biopsies.